Knowing
This morning I read the article “Guilt Trip into the Woods: Do Kids Really Need Nature?” and it brought up the need to write for me. At first I thought I was going to write about balance and how nature and the modern world are not mutually exclusive and pitted against each other. But as you’ll see it turned into something else.
I don’t understand why it’s a nature “versus” anything at all. My three year olds can navigate an iPhone like the best adult Apple fan and would rather practice their letters on the computer then a chalk board. But they also love nature, love to be outside. As much as a part of me wants to pack us up and move into the woods, we’ve made the choice to live in the middle of suburbia. Forest and Logan at 3 years old can identify some urban trees, plants and birds because I’ve made the point to tell them when we are outside riding bikes, playing at the playground, etc. Who knows if they will develop an affinity for learning about the outside world at a young age or like me only love nature until they get older and then realize they want to KNOW about it. I see it as my job as a parent to give them opportunities in all worlds, and to let them develop their own interests. Using an example from the article, my kids don’t want to press flowers either, but they sure do love to just be outside, and that is what matters. That they aren’t spending 24/7 indoors, on computers, in front of the tv. Let kids do what they enjoy outdoors: play sports, play on the playground, swim, read, write, draw. As long as they are outside their own interests will develop and they will get the benefit of new experiences, new stimuli that can only be offered by being outdoors. My eyesight improved when I quit working and started staying home with the boys because I was no longer stressing my eyes with computers, no longer only looking at things close up. Being outside and looking farther away improved my vision. I like to show the boys how interconnected life is while we are outside, I think that this will give them a sense of stewardship for the land as well as remind them to be tolerant and compassionate. Being outside is good for you on so many levels. But they’ve also learned a lot from the teachings I’ve found on websites about the outside world. It’s all a balance.
As often seems to happen in our society, things are pitted against each other in an “or” fashion instead of experienced as an “and”. I appreciate the article that led me to write this for wanting to take away some of the guilt that parents put themselves through. We live in a time when there are a lot of “or” decisions that have to be made about how we spend our time and there is a lot of guilt associated with the things that we don’t do. But this is very much self imposed and we need to change the way we think in order to remove all this guilt that we torture ourselves with. We need to remember that we have choices and that often the choice we do make is no better or worse then the one we didn’t make. Our family doesn’t live in the woods because we’ve chosen certain careers. We don’t have two cars because we’ve chosen to spend our money traveling more then we would be able to if we had a new car payment. We choose to take the boys to McDonald’s for hamburgers sometimes because it’s easy and fun. Choices.
We need to be more compassionate with ourselves about our choices so that we can in turn be compassionate to others about theirs. Try it this weekend. Don’t think so much and so hard. Don’t analyze as much. Just go with a choice, forgive yourself for not the other choice and live the life in front of you instead of the life that could have been. I think that’s one of the meanings for that phrase, “Choose Life”. You are empowered by life, not chained to it. Know that you have the choice and make wise decisions. Watch a tv show or play a video game as a family and then go outside and throw a ball or wash the car together. Choose balance, choose life.
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Comments
see, i know i found you for a reason. right now i write this from a cozy hotel room while the boys veg out on sprout….but for the last four days we lived outside with no indoor amentities except flush toilets a long way up the hill at our campsite. and yes, when things got a bit much, we handed them our iphones. but for hours and hours they played at the campsite with little more than ropes, cars and their mind churning with the possibilities of play….
we have to make it a healthy balance because what part of the world can a iphone not reach at this point? my boys have been out as much as in in their short lives and they thrive for the both. to hell with the vs. right? we totally have this, dawn.
i just wish people would stop writing so many damn treatises on living and just go out there and live.
Love this post! You are so right on. It reminds me so much of the debates on baby boards when the boys were little and I always considered myself a “middle of the road” mama. Yep my kids only organic meats and dairy and local as much as possible. And yep we love Chick-fil-A family night. I think if more people lived life in moderation, we’d solve quite a number of world problems. ha!