Not Giving Up
We approach age 3 1/2 years old with a fine example of how different twins can be. One boy is completely potty trained and the other still refuses to do his duty in the potty. I am always torn about when to put a foot down and pressure the little guy and when to just wait it out. He’s always been my text book kid, the one that fits every book example – except this one time. I’m heading into next week with big plans to try another underwear assault. This week he was sick and I obviously didn’t want to make an issue out of something.
Ok Mom and Dads, got any tips? Tricks? Ideas? Suggestions? Even if it’s just “leave him alone, he’ll figure it out on his own”, I’m curious to hear your thoughts.
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
Comments
Hi,
I like your blog.
Anyway, I just wanted to say…the little man really has to want to do it.
I have girl twins, and some experts say girls train faster, easier, earlier, etc. So you can take my comments for what they are worth…
My one twin potty trained in 2 days. She was highly motivated and wanted to do it. The other twin did NOT want to do it. And I know why. Learning to potty has to be her success to celebrate. The first time she pee’d on the potty, the potty started playing music when the pee pee hit the bottom, and my husband and I started cheering, clapping, screeching like banchees. Her eyes got wide, scared. She didn’t want any part of this anymore.
I gave her a break for a month. And then I told her that I no longer had diapers for her, she’d have to use underwear. I had resolved to stay home for as long as it took for her to decide she’d stay dry. After 2 days of pee pee accidents, she got it. Pull-ups did NOT work. She could have cared less if she pee pee’d in those fancy diapers.
She also watched her trained sister get to choose 1 m&m each time she went potty. Ella grew jealous. The combination of watching twin sister get a treat, not wanting to have pee pee on her got her trained.
The pooping was a whole other deal. She said it was scarey to poop in the potty, but we just kept trying. We didn’t shame her for poopy pants, but talked about being disappointed that she didn’t stay “clean and dry.” We also upped the reward to an immediate drive to the gas station to buy a sucker of her choice. That worked. I knew she loved going to the gas station and getting a sucker – it was a rare treat and something that she saw her sister do, and it broke her heart when she got left out one time.
So, if he is showing signs of readiness, find that x-factor for him when it comes to a motivator. maybe that will help.
But, yes, it’s a delicate balance of not turning the whole thing into a power struggle. Very difficult.
Sorry this was long. I’ve been writing parenting/potty training articles lately and guess I had more to share than I thought. Good luck. Thanks for sharing your family in your blog. Very cute.
Nate, my spirited boy, trained himself before he was 3. Alex, my textbook boy, WHOO BOY. That was a ride.
He trained only when Nate got moved to the 3s room and Alex couldn’t go unless he was trained. He wanted to be with Nate so badly he would have done anything! Then we went on vacation for a week and he regressed. Once he started pooping in underwear and saw no negative consequences, he kept doing it.
Eventually we were negative enough about it (never hitting him or yelling! but talking very negatively about it) that he held it until he had his nighttime pullup.
That went on for 6+ months. One of their friends moved to the 4s room and we told him he couldn’t go to the 4s room until he pooped on the potty. He trained within a week. He just wanted to do it, no amount of work on our end helped.
This was at 3 years, 9 months!