Birthday
Today is the boys’ 3rd birthday and I am celebrating with a day all to myself. Brad is out of town until tonight and the boys left yesterday with Dusty to spend their birthday weekend with their grandparents.
As I sit down to write this, I think back to their birth and how amazed I was to be the mother to such beautiful babies. Holding them in my arms during that cocoon experience at the hospital it seemed so blissful. But then I remember those first four months and how broken down I became. How I didn’t ask for help as soon as I should have and how lost I was by all that being a mom meant. I remember the lack of sleep and the fun of singing with Brad during the night feedings. I remember how I would take them outside to stop the crying. Logan’s colic and Brad’s patience. All the walks Brad and I took carrying the boys on our chests and then using the stroller when they got bigger. Logan used to scream when put into the car seat, so we stayed put for the first 4 – 5 months. But then we started running out to stores in the car seats, then the stroller, and now we can even venture into a store and the boys will walk around with me if their carts don’t hold two.
I remember the joy of watching them learn to crawl and then pull up, “cruising” around the living room, and then finally learning to walk before their first birthday. I remember the pride as they learned to communicate, first with sign language and then words. Sitting on the floor by the fridge using grapes to teach them how to sign “more” and how they learned in just a few minutes. I remember missing nursing for a good six months after it was over and how it hurt when I gave the breastfeeding pillow away, even though I was the one who was so ready for it to be over when I stopped. Now Logan will sample almost any new food put before him, including sushi and broccoli or “baby trees” as they call them. The communicate quickly and struggle to find words as they experience more and more of life and want to tell others about it.
I remember that year after their first birthday as quiet baby Forest turned into an instigator, a very crafty little man. How he started to push the boundaries and rules and often my sanity and hasn’t stopped. But Forest has expressed empathy since a very early age, offering hugs and kisses when he sees me feeling down, breaking my heart with his kindness toward people. I remember how Forest loves to sit and read by himself or always crawls into my lap when I’m reading them a book. How he started expressing independence at 18 months and always wants to do things by himself and screams at me if I forget and open a wrapper or peal a fruit for him. How hard this past summer was as he cut 4 teeth at once (he’s always been behind on cutting teeth) which only increased his painful “2 year old” independence screams. How sensitive he is to how things feel against his skin so that it’s difficult to get him into clothes, socks, coats, etc. and how I finally learned (this month) to just let it go and let him wear pjs all day because it’s not worth fighting about. In the recent months Forest has learned he can push Logan’s buttons and send him screaming for mommy.
I remember passionate and strongly expressive Logan staying true to that first impression as his artistic side has developed. How Logan loves animals and how they’ve started to respond to his learning gentleness with them. He stopped in the middle of trick or treating this Halloween to pet a neighbor’s cat, who sat sweetly for him and let him pet her in the midst of Halloween craziness. How much Logan loves his “orange Daddy” and often only he will do. How he makes us laugh and will burst into silly sounds and body movements to get a giggle out of us. Logan since first born has loved the outdoors and no weather seems to bother him. It’s never too hot or too cold for this boy, he’ll go outside and enjoy it anyway. Logan loves to play dress up, to wear masks and costumes, he loves to make masks and create costumes and wear others’ shoes. Logan never seemed to have the “terrible twos” and is only now starting to express a desire to do things himself.
Logan’s hair is so opposite of Forest’s, growing thick and wavy while Forest’s is fine and straight. Logan will follow the rules to playing games, while Forest prefers to make up his own rules. They both see every person they meet as a potential friend, knowing no physical boundries and always wanting to rough house with others the way they do with each other and their daddies. They can move their way through an iPhone to play games or take photos with great ease thanks to Grandma’s first introduction last year. They love to take pictures and to see the pictures they’ve taken. Especially of the art they draw into the dirt when we take walks. They love to learn rhymes and songs, to dance and play instruments. They are magical and wonderful to watch and experience every day. I love to listen to their play from the other room, hearing their imaginations soar with pirates and stuffed animals, cars, trains, and baby dolls.
“What a long, strange trip it’s been” seems a fiting thing to say about parenthood. And it’s only still just beginning for us. Whew. I’m already exhausted, and exhilarated all at once.
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Comments
(I know I am late to this post but better late than never!)
Happy birthday Logan! Happy birthday Forest! Mama hope you enjoyed your day on your own and cherished every single memory from the last three years. It is amazing how much things have changed in such a short period of time.


amazing. just amazing.
i love the memories you have made with them, kept of them. happiest of birthdays, guys.
laura c is going to be here in california on jan 30, any chance you have a visit planned around then? it would be a tri-meeting of twins.