Further and further
I’ve been very aware of how my posts on this blog have gotten further and further apart over the past year. A lot like the picture taking, videography and baby booking done for our children, as the years go by, we document less and less. Not only that, but I started this blog to communicate with family about the boys and to provide a source to other twin parents of information. But now that my entire family is on Facebook, I find myself using that way more often as THE communication tool. I know that is not for the best and will continue to use this blog and Picasa for my picture sharing, but it is what it is in this day and time. As for being a resource to twin parents, around the time that I had the boys, the internet seemed to burst forth with wonderful websites and blogs that do an amazing job of providing information.
I also find myself with a different amount and use of free time. When I started this blog, I needed my online community of twin parents to give me an adult outlet as I struggled to balance myself as a person with myself as a mother. As the boys approach 3 years old, they only take an hour nap (if Logan naps at all!). They also stay up a bit later at night so I have less time to myself then as well. But I am also carving out more time for myself on the weekends and evenings. One parent can handle baths easily at bedtime so I am taking tribal belly dance classes. In the fall and spring I attend every retreat at Earthsprings to help Glenda and The Fellowship of Comparative Religions, which – for example, over the course of the next 8 weekends takes up 4 weekends. Brad and I have more and more social life with each month that passes as we spend time with our families and friends in ways we couldn’t even a year ago. And so it’s really no wonder that I just don’t take the time to write like I used to.
I’ve also always noticed that about myself. I go through periods of time when I love to write. I can sit down daily and jot down ideas and thoughts, desiring to put it all down. But then I go through times when I’m “stuck” in the midst of the thing and just can’t find the words. That’s how it’s been lately. I spend my days wandering the huge park across the street with the boys. Drawing starting lines in the ground and yelling out “ready, set, GO!” as we race from one tree to the next. Picking up acorns and pretending they are coconuts. Yelling into huge water pipes to hear the echo and wondering if a troll lives there. The boys and I are busy counting, reading, drawing, and just otherwise living and I forget to put down all the beautiful things that make up these special days. I may regret that some day as my memory is horrible and will only falter more in the years to come. But for right now it feels right for us and I’m guessing from all the hugs, kisses and “I love you”s that I get from the boys, they approve of how I spend my time as well.
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i understand this post so well, it is like life has been become so present and huge and engaging that ‘blog’ life has started to shrink a bit…and it feels really good. i once needed the interaction of other mamas for support and encouragement. now, i love when i hear about your boys but understand why the updates have become less frequent, less urgent.
i think we with our boys so close will always have that early bond that happened from circumstance…for now, we can just run and try to keep up with what we can, right?