Loving the Belly (and droopy boobs) after the Pregnancy
I used to tease everyone during my pregnancy to “love the belly.” I mean, it was an amazing thing to have this thin skin protecting two precious little ones growing so well inside. I felt beautiful and vibrant even with that huge expanding belly. But then reality hit after they were born and I was left with this extra belly from all the stretching that occurred as I grew to be a good 10 cm bigger then a woman carrying just one baby. This morning I read this post about post-pregnancy bodies on the most awesome twin mother’s site “How Do You Do It”. I’ve been meaning to write about this topic here, so I was glad for the reminder.
I certainly have my days when I would love for us to make enough money for me to fix the “twin skin” on the belly and/or re-inflate my post-breastfeeding breasts. But for the most part I’m working on accepting myself this way just like I worked on accepting myself when I started changing after turning 30. In those days I thought of it as letting go of my “girl” body and accepting my “woman” body. Now this is my “mom” body. I can chart parts of my pregnancy story with my body now, a natural tattoo of my experience incubating, birthing and feeding our beautiful twin boys.
I know that some people are judgmental about the “mom” body. “Why doesn’t she go work off that extra weight?”, “She shouldn’t even be in a bathing suit with that body”. But that’s because they have fallen victim to believing our cultural trash about what a body should and shouldn’t look like. Women throughout history and across the cultures of the world share these unifying body changes so I think it’s a shame that our culture doesn’t accept them. Maybe if we weren’t so invested in covering up every flaw with a piece (or layers) of material. Just recently I noticed the gossip magazines at the grocery store check-out are into showing off the famous bodies that have been “ruined” by motherhood. It makes me both sad and angry. But I applaud the famous women willing to say “screw it” and put on that bikini anyway. I wish that I was that bold. Of course maybe I would be if everything else was nice and tight from working out. Chasing toddlers is a work out, but unfortunately not the kind that gives me muscle tone.
Don’t get me wrong, I am not judgmental of those who do seek surgery to fix things. On the contrary. I think that it’s great that we live in a world were we have options and women can choose to make themselves more comfortable in their own skin. This is as it should be.
I appreciated the reference in the original post to the Shape of a Mother blog (not work safe). A recently updated version of the site looks amazing and I highly recommend it to anyone reading this who is interested in the process of pre and post-pregnancy bodies. There are nude images so be sure to check it out at home. I spent a lot of time during the pregnancy looking at the bodies of the women carrying twins. And then after when I first started to see where my body was going to land post pregnancy and breastfeeding. It helps to know that we aren’t alone, that while some have been genetically lucky enough to maintain the status-quo, most of us haven’t.
So while I reserve the right to change my mind and get a boob job as a 40th birthday gift to myself, I’m actively working to accept myself and love myself just as I am. And I’ve recently noticed that it’s working.
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Ya know, I turn 40 next year, and I’ve been very “screw it” about the whole post-PG body. I have a bikini and I wear it. I don’t care that my belly had more pooch and wrinkle. And I’ve had TWO (count ‘em!) compliments on my bikini. NOT my BODY, mind you, but my bikini. Good enough!
I honestly just DO NOT care. I know my body isn’t perfect. It wasn’t *before* I had a baby! The funny thing is, where I used to be self-conscious (pre-PG), I sooooo just can’t be worried about it all now that I have this delightful, adorable, pistol of a little redhead to chase around. :)
That being said, I had only *one* baby(!!), and I totally lucked out & didn’t gain much w/ the PG, and by some grace of God (I’m utterly serious), my boobs shrank back to practically the same pre-PG size when I weaned at ~15 months (I was very worried about it). So I don’t have much to complain about — just a run-of-the-mill “mama bod” — but I still champion the “F*** it!” attitude toward our culture’s hyper-critical eye toward the post-partum body.
When my daughter and I read “The Belly Button Book” (which we do almost nightly), I whip out my flabby belly and slap my navel with glee. If I don’t judge, neither will she. That’s what it’s all about! :)